The time has come to say goodbye...
Not only to Los Angeles, but to this blog [It's Just Me]. Having a tagline like "Single, living alone, and loving every minute of it..." doooesn't really work when you live with 3 other people, a dog and a cat.
That's right, I'm heeeeeere!!! I arrived in San Diego yesterday, and am settling in quite nicely. But we will get into that...
ON THE NEXT BLOG!
So, follow me to the next chapter, the next set of adventures, and, quite possibly, the most important journey of my life... This entire experience will determine so much for me, my life, my future, and my happiness. Again, I am no longer fearful... although... I've been having a few of those "What the hell am I doing here?" moments... ya' know... when you realize you kiiiind of have no idea what you're doing?!?! And yet... it pushes you and drives you until you're actually doing something?... hmm. Now I see what one means when saying, "Don't fear the fear, use the fear". They may actually have something there! Alright Fear, let's do this...
Let's move on.
Let's not dwell on the ramblings of my mind, which I so easily can do! =)
Let's move on,
Let's get out of here,
Let's blow this popsicle stand,
Let's roll out of this joint,
Let's bounce yo',
Let's... move on forward.
And, hell, while we're at it, move on upward, too. Let's just MOVE! <3
* And by move, I mean onto another blog... I will be starting a new blog, Just Beginning, tomorrow. Stay tuned! <3
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Monday, March 4, 2013
LA Love: What's Up?
Alright, LA... I'm not done with you YET! I touched on the effects of the "down" I experienced, but I never shared the ups! And there have been many... so many, that I leave with a heavy heart. Heavy with the weight of the love I have received from all over. I don't consider it "baggage", though. It's a weight I carry with peace and joy. I've never felt more confident, but I have a ways to go... however, the plans are in motion and the excitement is definitely there!!
The one place I will miss the most is, of course, Mocafe. Not only have I made some incredible friends, but I have found people I now call family. A father, a mother... brothers and sisters. A grandma, uncles... even some cousins. An entire family tree I now consider family. I love them with all of my heart, and will carry them with me forever. The love and lessons I've received from them will always light my soul.
And that's just the family that owns the cafe... that's not counting the other employees, some now lifelong friends. Or the customers, who are probably the best customers I've ever had! Or the people I've met because of them... or going to the local bar and making more lifelong friends. Or the connections. Or the experiences. Or the pure joy, just to have a busy cafe and get to mingle with some of my favorite people, while making money. No, that's just a small, yet wonderful part of my year at Mocafe. And the love has only been stronger than ever, as I near the end of my career there...
It's funny, I find myself thinking about how I'm going to miss the little things the most...
Wondering what pastry Uri (the owner) and I will share every morning..
The gossip sessions with Orit, his youngest daughter.. and my adopted sister =)
The closes with Will & Juan, who always make me laugh..
The creativity of our customers, always making their own shit up, when we have an enormous menu... just sayin' guys! ;)
The times I order what they made up... and it's amazing!
The dancing... and the singing... and the dancing...
and the singing.
Even though we're not supposed to...
Every. single. time. the family reminds me I'm always welcome back. Always.
It has truly been an incredible experience, and one I will always take with me. The people I have met, before the cafe, while at the cafe, and outside of the cafe, are some of the best people I know. Some I talk to every day, some I barely see. But they're all there. Or they're on Facebook... Hey, don't judge me, you KNOW it's true!
And honestly, that's a whole other life I love. It really is. Call it cheesy, or lame, or whatever you'd like, but I have so much love and support on Facebook, and I consider it a big part of my life. Why, on this Earth, would I consider Facebook so important?? On Facebook, I get to see my family every day, interact with them, and view pictures of their own adventures. I get to catch up with old friends, most of whom live in other states. I get to share my work, be it music or this blog, and receive support I normally wouldn't. I get an entire channel of love, flowing from state to state, every single day. And I cherish every bit of it... I call it my "Facebook Family". And they really are. All of them.
With all of this love and support, it's a bit difficult to let one little "down" get me... well, down! I not only appreciate every moment, but I look forward to each day as a new opportunity to experience happiness. It comes in all forms, and it's attracted to its own kind. If anything, I've learned that the most. I don't personally know karma, and I'm not inclined to call her a bitch, but the studies have shown... well, that she is. However, she's also quite kind, should you utilise her properly. I've tested it... it works! So I'm sticking to my "gut", meaning my heart and mind. They seem to know a bit about life... and I trust them. The three of us, along with Buster, are off to seeee the wizaard... the wonderful wizard of a-new-life-in-San-Diegoooo!!! <3
The one place I will miss the most is, of course, Mocafe. Not only have I made some incredible friends, but I have found people I now call family. A father, a mother... brothers and sisters. A grandma, uncles... even some cousins. An entire family tree I now consider family. I love them with all of my heart, and will carry them with me forever. The love and lessons I've received from them will always light my soul.
And that's just the family that owns the cafe... that's not counting the other employees, some now lifelong friends. Or the customers, who are probably the best customers I've ever had! Or the people I've met because of them... or going to the local bar and making more lifelong friends. Or the connections. Or the experiences. Or the pure joy, just to have a busy cafe and get to mingle with some of my favorite people, while making money. No, that's just a small, yet wonderful part of my year at Mocafe. And the love has only been stronger than ever, as I near the end of my career there...
It's funny, I find myself thinking about how I'm going to miss the little things the most...
Wondering what pastry Uri (the owner) and I will share every morning..
The gossip sessions with Orit, his youngest daughter.. and my adopted sister =)
The closes with Will & Juan, who always make me laugh..
The creativity of our customers, always making their own shit up, when we have an enormous menu... just sayin' guys! ;)
The times I order what they made up... and it's amazing!
The dancing... and the singing... and the dancing...
and the singing.
Even though we're not supposed to...
Every. single. time. the family reminds me I'm always welcome back. Always.
It has truly been an incredible experience, and one I will always take with me. The people I have met, before the cafe, while at the cafe, and outside of the cafe, are some of the best people I know. Some I talk to every day, some I barely see. But they're all there. Or they're on Facebook... Hey, don't judge me, you KNOW it's true!
And honestly, that's a whole other life I love. It really is. Call it cheesy, or lame, or whatever you'd like, but I have so much love and support on Facebook, and I consider it a big part of my life. Why, on this Earth, would I consider Facebook so important?? On Facebook, I get to see my family every day, interact with them, and view pictures of their own adventures. I get to catch up with old friends, most of whom live in other states. I get to share my work, be it music or this blog, and receive support I normally wouldn't. I get an entire channel of love, flowing from state to state, every single day. And I cherish every bit of it... I call it my "Facebook Family". And they really are. All of them.
With all of this love and support, it's a bit difficult to let one little "down" get me... well, down! I not only appreciate every moment, but I look forward to each day as a new opportunity to experience happiness. It comes in all forms, and it's attracted to its own kind. If anything, I've learned that the most. I don't personally know karma, and I'm not inclined to call her a bitch, but the studies have shown... well, that she is. However, she's also quite kind, should you utilise her properly. I've tested it... it works! So I'm sticking to my "gut", meaning my heart and mind. They seem to know a bit about life... and I trust them. The three of us, along with Buster, are off to seeee the wizaard... the wonderful wizard of a-new-life-in-San-Diegoooo!!! <3
Sunday, March 3, 2013
LA Love: Interception!
So, it's pretty obvious, at this point, that my countdown didn't go quite as planned...
I'm sorry Los Angeles! I guess I just don't love you that much! (Oh, snap- yes I DID!)
All poking-fun-at-something-that-can't-defend-itself aside... it's really quite the opposite. The last few days (okay, ELEVEN days... shhhhh) have been full of ups and downs, but luckily, more up than down. However, the down sparked the entire gap in my writing. A seemingly innocent incident occurred, throwing me for a loop. I'm glad it did, though... I think I needed a reality check to really focus on what's going on here...
So, what's going on?
This time, I know.
I know everything's about to change for me.
I know I'm terrified.
I know I've almost not thought about it, going through the motions, in the hopes of not getting freaked. OUT.
... I know that's damaged my perspective.
However, I also finally know what I want. For the most part... the details are still a bit fuzzy, but that's okay. It's alright to not know everything. It's alright to not have all the answers. In fact, it makes it that much more exciting!! For once in my life, I'm going after exactly what I want. The life I always thought I could have. I may not get everything I've always wanted... I don't even want most of the things I used to... want... but now I know what matters to me. I know what's important to me. And I aim to strive for everything I want now.
I've said it before; I may, in fact, fail. I don't repeat it in fear, though. I say it without fear, knowing that whatever outcome I face, I will have travelled this road confident in my choices. I find it incredibly important to do what I love, and love what I do. And I have, for many years. I knew when it was time to move on... My heart always knows. I just don't usually act on it. I wait... stuck in the same routine... afraid to venture out... fearful of change... until I finally can't take anymore. This time, I'm following my heart, whole.... heartedly.
Oh, yes. Still cheesy. =)
... You know what? I take it back. I won't fail. And you know why?
... (this is where you say "Well, why, Shaneil?")...
Well, class, because it's not about the end result. It's about the journey. It's about the experiences. The people I meet, the love I feel, the passions I chase, the care I give, the world I change... for the "world" can be an entire planet, or the small patches of it that you care for with compassion and love. We're like a giant group of quilters... each working together to create a pattern of humanity of which we can be proud. Each contributing the best we can in every moment we face. That's all we're ever doing... the best we could in that moment. It's not always right. It's not always kind. But it's in our control, and it's contagious. How often do you absorb someone else's mood? I bet it's more than you think.
I've always thought I could be better... Now, I'm doing something about it. In many small ways, we can all contribute to our own little patches in considerable ways. A laugh, a smile, a kind word, a loving gesture... it's all contagious. It spreads the threads of love, weaving its way through our giant quilt of life. A continuous cycle that we can build into something to really remember. I want to be proud of my contribution, so I'm stepping forward and doing something about it. I can't wait to embark on this new journey... I have to admit, though, putting this out there makes it a bit more terrifying... so I'm gonna wrap this puppy up! I could go on forever about my feelings about this move... but the most important thing is, I'm happy. I'm ready. And with this needle and thread, I will sew my love, my strength, and my hope into this world. I will always do my best, and always strive for more. For my heart and soul, and those around me. <3
I'm sorry Los Angeles! I guess I just don't love you that much! (Oh, snap- yes I DID!)
All poking-fun-at-something-that-can't-defend-itself aside... it's really quite the opposite. The last few days (okay, ELEVEN days... shhhhh) have been full of ups and downs, but luckily, more up than down. However, the down sparked the entire gap in my writing. A seemingly innocent incident occurred, throwing me for a loop. I'm glad it did, though... I think I needed a reality check to really focus on what's going on here...
So, what's going on?
This time, I know.
I know everything's about to change for me.
I know I'm terrified.
I know I've almost not thought about it, going through the motions, in the hopes of not getting freaked. OUT.
... I know that's damaged my perspective.
However, I also finally know what I want. For the most part... the details are still a bit fuzzy, but that's okay. It's alright to not know everything. It's alright to not have all the answers. In fact, it makes it that much more exciting!! For once in my life, I'm going after exactly what I want. The life I always thought I could have. I may not get everything I've always wanted... I don't even want most of the things I used to... want... but now I know what matters to me. I know what's important to me. And I aim to strive for everything I want now.
I've said it before; I may, in fact, fail. I don't repeat it in fear, though. I say it without fear, knowing that whatever outcome I face, I will have travelled this road confident in my choices. I find it incredibly important to do what I love, and love what I do. And I have, for many years. I knew when it was time to move on... My heart always knows. I just don't usually act on it. I wait... stuck in the same routine... afraid to venture out... fearful of change... until I finally can't take anymore. This time, I'm following my heart, whole.... heartedly.
Oh, yes. Still cheesy. =)
... You know what? I take it back. I won't fail. And you know why?
... (this is where you say "Well, why, Shaneil?")...
Well, class, because it's not about the end result. It's about the journey. It's about the experiences. The people I meet, the love I feel, the passions I chase, the care I give, the world I change... for the "world" can be an entire planet, or the small patches of it that you care for with compassion and love. We're like a giant group of quilters... each working together to create a pattern of humanity of which we can be proud. Each contributing the best we can in every moment we face. That's all we're ever doing... the best we could in that moment. It's not always right. It's not always kind. But it's in our control, and it's contagious. How often do you absorb someone else's mood? I bet it's more than you think.
I've always thought I could be better... Now, I'm doing something about it. In many small ways, we can all contribute to our own little patches in considerable ways. A laugh, a smile, a kind word, a loving gesture... it's all contagious. It spreads the threads of love, weaving its way through our giant quilt of life. A continuous cycle that we can build into something to really remember. I want to be proud of my contribution, so I'm stepping forward and doing something about it. I can't wait to embark on this new journey... I have to admit, though, putting this out there makes it a bit more terrifying... so I'm gonna wrap this puppy up! I could go on forever about my feelings about this move... but the most important thing is, I'm happy. I'm ready. And with this needle and thread, I will sew my love, my strength, and my hope into this world. I will always do my best, and always strive for more. For my heart and soul, and those around me. <3
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