The Pursuit of Happiness

So, I decided I am going to start another blog for my perception and reality rants... or wherever that goes... so be on the lookout for that! Now, back to life as I know it...

I'm definitely still in a rut, but I'm inching my way up the walls, burying the dread and negativity behind me. My emotions are so up and down, I can barely keep up! However, I'm aware of my state of madness, and am continually working towards that ultimate goal: Happiness. One thing I've been doing more? Writing. Which, honestly, makes me happier than pretty much anything else. Music may be a part of that, but writing in general is truly a passion of mine. I'm not the best, nowhere near it, but there's something about collecting my thoughts and having it right in front of me that really... oh, I don't know... tickles me pink. Or whatever. It makes me happy. And what is the ultimate goal, children? 'HAPPINESS!!!'

So. On that note, I'm sticking to things that make me happy. There's a magnetic quality about happiness... it's not uncommon to feel fear when that force grabs hold. More often than not, going after something that makes you truly happy can be, well... terrifying! We are so prone to thinking it will reject us... but positive thinking goes a long way. Believing in yourself and believing you deserve something can make a world of difference. For too long, I've struggled with my lack of self-worth. But really... why can't I be truly happy? Have I really ever done anything to make myself feel like I don't deserve happiness? No. I really haven't. I'm not perfect, but who the hell is? I try my best to be a good person every single day, and I'm trying harder, day by day. With the right balance of pressure and acceptance, I'm slowly, but suuuurely, becoming the woman I know I can be. Why am I telling you this? Oh, I'm not, I'm reminding myself. I tend to forget things.

So-
Daily mental reminders that I deserve happiness? Check!
Striving to be the best I can be, every day? Check!
Courage to approach happiness with open arms? Check!
Passion for that I love and those I love? Check!

Not a bad checklist, I'd say. We all need emotional goals, too. It can't all be about that new promotion, or a new wardrobe, or looking good, on or off paper... and I swear, if I hear one more person say they wanna win the lottery, I'm gonna lose it! Newsflash: We ALL want to win the lottery. But is that really going to solve every problem you have in life? No, probably not. It will pay the bills, buy that boat, and probably allow you to be lazy and take a vacation. Great. Money. Whoo. Hoo. What about inner peace and happiness and lending a hand to your fellow man and contributing something to the world, not just the economy?? .... okay, okay- I digress.

The point is, my daily concerns do not revolve around money. I have some, could use some more, but what else is new? That's not important in my reality. I want my dog to be happy, my friends to laugh, my family to feel love, the world to feel peace... all these dolla' dolla' bills y'all can hit the- hit the- hills y'all! ........ yeah, I'm pretty gangster. 

So while you're sitting there, judging my terrible sense of humor, think about this: I've started way too many paragraphs with 'so' in this post; I keep telling you what to do, but hey, I'm bossy; and I'm spreading the word about happiness, because we all deserve it. Knowing where to find it- that's the key. I feel like a janitor, lugging around all these keys! But every door I unlock takes me one step closer to my own happiness. And really, I couldn't ask for more <3