A Change Gonna Come

I'm so lost right now. Really. I'm so tired of being an emotional rollercoaster inside... all while living my life in miserable silence... waiting. Waiting for what?

I. Have. No. Clue.

But something... a change. A drastic one. I'm incredibly unhappy in LA, and it all hit me at an increasing rate, just over the past few months. I find myself looking around in disgust, and being a people person, I don't like feeling that way. But it's not just the people, it's everything... although the overall mentality here is a huge factor, I'm also just tired of seeing more concrete being built, more people suffering, more media... more crap. Crap, crap, crap.

So. Obviously, getting out of LA is a goal! However, it shouldn't matter where I live, or what I do... it all comes down to how I feel inside. Finding happiness within ourselves is something I often speak about. Yet I'm struggling to find it within myself. Great- so I move and then what? I become tired of that city and move again? No, this takes more thought... more planning. So maybe not a drastic change... but the planning of one.

But besides all of that talk, I need to figure out what truly makes me happy... what I want from life. What my purpose is. For myself. For my heart and soul and ever present being. What am I doing? ..... that's the real question there. What am I doing? What am I trying to accomplish? What's my life goal? Well, to be happy, of course... but how? Doing what? Working as hard as I do and as often as I do is good for me right now, but I cannot do it for too long... I have no life. I have no fun. We've established this. My spirit is MUCH too free to be so captive to the work force! I need inspiration. I need... change.

This is definitely the beginning of a new plan. A "life" plan =) However, for the sake of not becoming overwhelmed, let's take it one step at a time, shall we? How about a.... 6 month plan? Yes? We all agree? Good, 'cause that's what I'm doing. Details to come soon, I'm sure... in the meantime, you'll be seeing a lot more of these bloggy blogs, as I am going through some shit! But it's good shit. It's another path in another story of another chapter of my life... and this time, It's Just Me. And the power to create my own happiness... is mine.