A New Me

I've always believed I was destined for something great. Even as a young girl, I thought about the world a little differently from my peers. Now, as an adult, I realize that my life is far from what I expected it to be. Heck, is anyone living the life they imagined they would? Probably not... however, I'm beginning to yearn for something more. Something meaningful. Something that makes an impact.

Yes, I'm making plans to move soon, directing my life towards music, a lifelong love of mine. But, that's selfish. Not necessarily in a bad way, but nevertheless, selfish. There is a whole other dream world of mine that lives only in my thoughts. In light of recent events, it's aching to be expressed.

It's my love for people. All of them.

While I live my daily life expressing peace and love through my actions, my lack of action is what's bothering me. There are many things I am passionate about, but it's very easy to say and write these things all over the world wide web, while the actual world is left in the dust of my musings. I'm all talk, and I'm tired of it.

Take For Example:
I was watching the benefit concert for Hurricane Sandy the other night. Simultaneously, I was browsing different coverage online of the devastation, and what's being done. I suddenly had a very strong urge to discard all of my belongings, buy a plane ticket, and fly to the East Coast. The thought of just showing up, walking around, and helping wherever I could possibly be needed... it excited the very core of me. Not because I could brag about it. Not because people would think I was generous or giving. But because people NEED IT. What the hell am I doing? Sitting around, wasting my life doing nothing, contributing not a damn thing to society? A waste of space is what I feel like lately. Not only am I lacking contribution to society, I'm barely taking care of myself as it is.

I tend to frustrate myself. As you could probably imagine. BUT...

Something's boiling inside of me.
I literally feel like a pot of water, sitting on a stovetop, the heat overbearing, the bubbles rising...
I feel a new me being born.

A me I've hidden only in my thoughts, conversations with friends, songs, private rants to myself... all subtle hints at a very strong woman inside, dying to express how she really feels. Verbally, but most importantly, through action!

Our planet is dying, our people are hurting, our society is crumbling, our children are suffering, our government is failing, our lives are changing... in very serious, dangerous, and catastrophic ways. What are you doing about it? What am I doing about it?!

NOTHING!

The more I read, the more I educate myself, the stronger I become. I can tell you right now, this is only the beginning of a new me. A me who fights for what she believes in. A me who raises her voice to the skies. A me who has always been there, lurking in my soul, fighting with my brain to send the impulses through my body and ACT ON THEM!

I want to be someone who fights for the rights of the people I love so very much.
I want to enact change. For myself. For those around me.
It's time we all stood up.
This country, let alone the world, is in for some devastating times.
I feel it's only just begun.
I'm afraid.
And through that fear, I will grow strong.
Join me <3