Green Acres

Ya' know, sometimes... I read too much. I research too much. I obsess too much. Shocker. However, recently I've been reading and learning some very interesting things. A lot of weird stuff is going on... I don't believe it all, but I believe enough. Terrifying stuff... but the more I read, the more I think: "Well, better live it up then!"

I've been making plans to 'live it up' for some time now, but today marked an important step towards my goals. It's all becoming real... and I couldn't be more excited!!! Taking control of my life and creating a new reality for myself is an extraordinary feeling. I feel powerful... but not in a dangerous way. In a freeing way... like I can do whatever I set my mind to. Because, I can. And for once, I'm gonna.

My trip to Fresno was successful in so many ways. Not only did I reunite with some wonderful people, but I was finally away from the city, able to think; breathe; be. It gave me the few days I needed to really think about what is important to me. Leaving LA, diving into music, and a new adventure; these are the experiences I've been craving. Finally, today, I told my work as much. Come March, I'm out of here. It's real.

Damn, shit just got real!

This is really happening!! I will soon begin a new chapter in my life. One that can shape my entire future. I'm no longer a prisoner to what I thought I needed to do, and who I thought I needed to be... the answer was always within me. It is me. Just me. Me being me.

My Aunt Roxy told me I was wasting my talents. She was right. I know I'm capable of more, yet I've always settled for less. No more, my friends! None of it may turn out how I expect, so I'm going in with no expectations. Because... no matter where I go, no matter what I find, no matter who I become, I will know I followed my heart. I will take pride in my decisions and learn from my mistakes. I will keep my positive attitude and attract those who appreciate it. Oh yes, I will follow my heart and do what makes me happy. Isn't that what life is about? All of these stories I've been reading (yes, I remember how this started), they keep me educated. Knowledge is power, so I take it all in. But I won't let it control my life. I do that. So, while they motivated me to begin this post, the underlying story here, folks, is that Shaneil is moving on. To greener pastures? I'd stay tuned and see.. =)